I bring my Silence to the table

Sometimes I feel that our meetings are more like a potluck – everybody bring some pot of food homemade or otherwise and we put on the table and everybody eats based on their own interests, sometimes you will eat only what you serve, what you have brought, sometimes you will eat what others have brought also, is it not like this? I feel sometimes, satsang, meetings are like this.

So, I also want to put something from my side, from my pot also in case anybody likes to eat.

I bring myself to the table, I bring my Silence to the table, if you see my pot empty remember I have brought space because I think sometimes we need lot of space or sometimes we need space to enjoy everything that we have. You can enjoy it may be a little more when you are given little more space in everything. Like space between the two words, space between the two meals, space between the two bites may be also, you know? So I have brought space, I have brought silence, I have brought myself to the table, this is the best thing I have. Everybody is bringing best thing, I should also bring the best to you, as I said not many buyers not many takers of it, but I still will try to bring it as much as I can,

I will say little more also that this space which I have brought to you on your table and the space which you see outside, in which the universe is happening, it is not the different space, same space. This space which I have, I am sharing with you right now and always is in which everything is happening in a way. When I say in a way I mean actually everything is made of this space also, that’s why when you are more conscious, you will need space more than anything else, you will not need more items in your mind or in your heart, you will need more space, because you are made of space, like this, na? I just felt very, it’s a very humble thing not like I am bringing this out of arrogance, you are also space, you also have space which I am bringing on the table, maybe you don’t value it so much right now. So, my only qualification inside me which makes me help you is that I value the space which I am, I value what I am.

(Excerpts from Spontaneous Talks at Dharamshala, May 2018)

Why do we have obsessive thinking and excessive thinking?

Questioner: – Why do we have obsessive thinking and excessive thinking?

Rajee: – Actually it is true, what we normally see, what we think, the way we think, our mind functioning is basically not really at its best – in our day to day life, in normal life. But we don’t notice it because we don’t know any other way of living life.

As we start going deeper than the mind we start tasting the silence or you can say emptiness of our own Self, the spaciousness of our own Self, where we don’t have so much thinking or you can say you don’t have thinking at all actually.

So basically that taste kind of makes you sensitive towards the fact that you are thinking too much, that you are thinking obsessively and excessively, you know, like this. So this excessive thinking and obsessive thinking is more and more highlighted. You feel like ‘Why I‘m thinking so much?’

Here there are two things basically to be understood.

One is that why this obsessive and excessive thinking happens? It does not really happen because it is necessary for you to think about what you want to think. It happens because of the sense of fear and that sense of fear is because of the sense of identity we have in the mind field and we call it Myself. Like you the spaciousness of life, gets attached to that thought which creates your self image, identity. Now you are also in the mind and thinking is also happening in the mind in a way, you can say. You are not in the mind really but you are in the mind through this self image because you are attached to it, so that is why the water of the mind gets stirred up too much, because the thinker of the mind, of the thoughts, is also in the mind in the form of a thought, a persistent thought, you know, a continuous thought. And every thought changes. Actually every thought, meaning every thought that moves in the mind affects every other thought. So, it is the thinker of the mind also which is affected by thinking, and then it thinks in a different way, and then it is affected in a different way, like it becomes like a recursive loop where you keep boiling the same content, you keep purifying the same thing, like this, so this is the reason why we think obsessively and excessively.

So one way to be free from it, the best way, I would say most direct way is to drop out of it into your emptiness, into your spaciousness more and more, you know, like this. The more you stay in your emptiness, in your spaciousness, the less energy mind gets, the less energy mind gets, the less it will run. Mind is not independent, that thoughts cannot just run by themselves. There is somebody needed to drive them, to motivate them, to attend them, to look into them, like this. So that is why they kind of keep happening in us, or to us you can say. So if you stay more and more in your own spaciousness, then this obsessive and excessive thinking will get balanced by itself, it will be harmonized by itself.

Second way is, to have some clarity at the mind level, Clarity – at the mind level. And what you can do is, what I call, just sit every day and when or whenever necessary, just have a look at your mind, that ‘What is going on right now?’ and you will be able to see more neutrally, this is the mind field only, that ‘I don’t really need to think so much about everything right now, I only have to think about what is next, or what is today, or at the max what is this week maybe. Like The whole life is not on my head right now, just my one week next that I have to deal with, or certain things which are important, which will be in future of one year, two years, ten years even, but still they are important to be attended today, but not so many things.

And what I found, when you are in this nice state of clarity at the mind level, and resting in your Self and discovering also who you are, the thinking process becomes so simple actually, like it’s so simple that you don’t feel that you have thoughts. At first, I used to wonder like, ‘Where are my thoughts actually? Where they have gone?’, because I am able to think but I’m not able to notice the thoughts. This is also you notice. Like it becomes so sharp, so fast and so simple, you only think as much as you need to think, not a single extra thought. Then your mind is more, like you can say that ‘My mind is empty all the time’. Even when you are thinking your mind is empty because mind thoughts cannot move when you don’t want them to move, you know, like this, something like this you can say.

So when you have decided not to think, thoughts don’t move, and it is possible only when you are clear, when you are CLEAR about yourself and when you are clear about this mind level also, that why you need to think? This is where the value of observation of the mind comes in. Observation of the mind is not to get some spiritual fruits in the sense of some spiritual experiences or something. It was to get some clarity so that the non-essential, obsessive and compulsive thinking falls by itself, it falls by itself. It’s like this, that by nature, all the ego states have a fear, a base sense of fear, so if you are sitting right now, listening to me and if you are in your ego state you will be continuously caring so much about your sandals, for example, your shoes, other belongings, but when you are clear that it is a more valuable thing right now to attend to this talk, then what you will do is you will put your belongings in such a way that you don’t have to attend to them continuously, and like this you are now free. This kind of clarity takes place continuously at the mind field, what you should think and when. This ‘When’ is very important. You don’t have to keep thinking all the time everything.

I hope it makes it clear to you little bit.

So everybody uses thinking, everybody needs to use thinking as much as necessary but it doesn’t mean that, most of the thinking that is going on in the mind is non-essential or not necessary. When this non-essential or obsessive and excessive thinking falls away, you have so much energy in the mind, mind is so fresh and resting that when you give a command to it, that ‘Hey I have to think about it’, all the resources are employed for it and you can think much better than before actually, you know, very quickly. So before it is like 90% of your mind energy is being wasted, (and) now hundred percent of your energy is available to you with a zero wastage. Obviously you can see the miracle, like you can think miraculously now.

Mind and Presence are not two things actually, Your mind, harmonious, illuminous and joyful is nothing but presence without obsessive thinking. (Rajee giggles). This is only possible when you have become clear that ‘I’ is a thought only.

I am that I, not what I think about it. The thinker of ‘I’ is the real I, not the I-thought.

(Excerpts from talks at Candolim beach, Goa April 2018)

Sense of Incompletion – the driving force of life

When this sense of incompletion is outward oriented then it creates in life; it creates all that can give any sense of completion.

When attended at the very core of it then it unfolds like a divine flower, it expresses itself in most beautiful and loving ways and finally it introduces life to life; it becomes the medium through which life discovers itself.

The sense of incompletion is present in all living beings and it is at the very core of whole life.

So what is this sense of incompletion?
In my understanding, the Sense of Incompletion is the very driving force through which life experiences movement, creation, expression, experiencing and knowing of itself.

At the very core of it this sense of incompletion is divine restlessness with a blueprint of how it will be manifested and finally will be dissolved. Some also call this divine restlessness the heart of the being or the very soul.

When the focus of the being is outward oriented and the attention is mostly stuck in the mind (thought process, beliefs) then we try to cover this rooted sense of incompletion by different experiences of life. Although all experiences work more or less like pain killer for it but most are fine with this model until we get bored of it.

As our attention starts getting free from mind partially, we start sensing that whatever life is bringing to me is not able to resolve this rooted sense of incompletion; it only covers it for the time being. We start wondering that there has to be some other way of living life.

At some point all beings do realize that trying to find a readymade fix for this rooted inner sense of incompletion without knowing it, is like taking different treatments without doing a thorough diagnosis of the disease. So we try to figure out by ourself what exactly is this inner restlessness which we are not able to resolve by doing anything externally. None of our doings seem to help relieve us from this restlessness.

And as we start exploring this sense of incompletion within with neutral mind, we have stumbled upon the treasure of treasures; we have reached to the very core of ourself. This is the seed of pure consciousness packaged by formless in a form of desire to express itself, to know itself. This is the very heart of the form that we are and it is created by life itself, the formlessness.

The more we stay here in this sense of incompletion, the more we see it’s not something negative. It is felt very simply that this sense is a beautiful, sweet presence of life which wants to flow out to express itself and wants to flow in to know its own depths. The sense of knowledge (thought process, beliefs) still plays its role by resisting to this divine sense of restlessness within but cannot distract us anymore since we have tasted the very nectar of our own being, the sweetest thing one can experience.

Slowly the attention which was stuck in mind, starts flowing in into this presence, this divine restlessness; and finally merges with it so much that the doubts of the mind are not given any value. One starts living life from within, a life which flows from inside to outside; a life of beauty, love for all, peace and inner joy.

Hope this sharing helps you see bit more clearly beloved!