Questioner : I have a confusion, so if I am total I get responsible but if I let happen, I drop responsibility so what is it?
Rajee – No, it’s not like this. When you take responsibility, it is like somebody called you to take responsibility. In the beginning it is like this but the more and more you take responsibility, meaning, the more and more you become total, the more and more energy which was actually being used for the sense of I, is withdrawn into the activity itself. So now, there is only, not ‘I am doing responsibility’ it is just responsibility happening, like this, and the moment it happens it is a let-go state. So work continues, everything continues but without anybody being responsible for it locally into a particular body and mind. This is the reality.
Like you have, let’s say, ten units of energy and mostly two units of energy or three units of energy or four units of energy is being used constantly to create a sense of doer who will be responsible, who will be taking the responsibility. (Now) if you can be more serious about what you are doing, if you can put in more energy into it. From where will that energy come? It will come from the sense of doer only. So, you will have less sense of doer, less sense of ‘I’. At some point, no sense of ‘I’, only pure doing because you are intelligence, your doing is not happening through ‘I’, it is happening through the body, mind power and intelligence. The intelligence that you are knows that it is correct to do, that’s why you are doing it actually. So this is how it kind of becomes very nice and harmonious like ‘Wow, so it is good to do like this what I am doing.’
This sense of ‘I’ is not only doing it right now what you are doing (but also) it is like a storage where you have been learning since you were born, and thinking continuously, judging continuously, deciding continuously what is right, what is wrong. This particular part of ourself does not really do anything except believing that I am doing it, the rest of yourself is already doing everything anyway, so it’s not going to run away, it will continue doing anyway. So complete sense of responsibility or taking complete responsibility and letting go is exactly one and the same thing. When you let go completely you cannot avoid responsibility, you are actually for the first time Total, total like ‘It’s OK, let’s do it’ but you don’t feel burden of it anymore. It is more like playful because somehow you can sense that next moment, next day, next week, month or year, life will decide, will change. Life is moving as a whole not as parts.
(Excerpts from Spontaneous Meetings, Pune)