Questioner – ‘There is subtle mind object in form of a vague sense of unease while doing anything. How do I deal with that?’
Rajee – All the unease basically is result of divisions inside us, and all the ease, comfort, relax, harmony is result of our unity in a way, in the beginning, with freedom from this separations, divisions inside us. So it is a form of division present inside you that is creating this unease, and it is not something bad, it will not let you sleep. You will remain awake. Uneasiness is something so valuable for a Seeker of Truth that you will remain awake that there is something still not complete inside, you are feeling incomplete in a way. We don’t really realize until we discover our undivided nature that feeling anything is only possible through divisions. Experiencing anything is only possible through divisions, except your own nature. You can experience your nature but that’s not like an option you have, that whether you can experience it sometime and you cannot. It is like experiencing itself, drinking itself in a way, like this. Anything that you can experience and can and may not sometime, is based on the divisions of experience and experiencer, doing and doer, thinking and thinker, like this. If you, right now, all of you, just I invite you for one moment, if you try to find out the Thinker in you, can you find out, where is the thinker of your thoughts? Can you say I am the thinker of my thoughts? You will generally say, but then, are you a thought? Or the Seer of thought? If you are a Seer of thought how do you think? And if you are a thought then how can you be a thinker? That’s what I am asking. We just don’t look at these things in this manner.
So, this is I think what I would say. Don’t deal with this unease, explore it, what exactly this unease is inside you. You will discover a kind of invisible unexplored area, like a vacuum, like what you call, like an air packets like when we do this aeroplane journey, when we sometimes bump like this, air turbulence, like air packet inside you which you have not visited. Whatever you have not visited like this, lives like a darkness, darkness being the absence of your presence. So when you present yourself inside, it will get enlightened and it will not be there anymore after your visit. Anything like this inside you is surviving, any trouble you feel inside you, just go and visit that, don’t try to fix it, You are The Fix for that, Your Visit, Your Presence, not trying to fix it, not going to with intention that I am just going to destroy it. No, just to have a look, what is this? In your absence problems are imagined inside this, in this packet, you know, energy packets, you can say, gaps like this.
And until you visit it, the mind which does not know about it will imagine and guess and will also propose solutions for it, which are not going to help actually, only your visit can solve it. Go inside and find out, what is this uneasiness?
Questioner – Thank you, yes the unease is as persistent as the feeling of the ‘I’.
Rajee – Yes it is actually. It is the feeling of ‘I’ or it is basically You who want to continue living as the ‘I’, as the feeling of ‘I’ and also you want to experience your unity and your undividedness – that’s the unease, you want two things at the same time which are opposite of each other. Go inside and ‘settle, settle this account in one side that either ‘I’ will stay as this ‘I’, at the cost of feeling uneasy, or let go of ‘I’ and the uneasiness will also go. A natural, natural ease, contentment and sense of completion which you have never felt will be experienced by you. I mean it will not be easy for you to stop dancing, you really need a lot of awareness to not go crazy out of joy when you experience your Self. But the good news is that there is always awareness here, so you will not go crazy. All the journey, life journey that we have had is journey of searching for happiness, and you will find it here, inside you. All that you have experienced in the form of happiness was nothing but a far away reflection, an echo of this joy that you are.
(Excerpts from Online Meeting dated 24th February, 2018, Koregaon Park Pune)