Questioner – Is there any chance to know myself as I am lazy or irresponsible?
Rajee – You are, Thank God you accepted it finally(laughs).
As far as waking up is concerned, there is just no problem, except that you need to be clear about it. It’s not about being lazy or careless. If you can be fully lazy and careless, you are done. But we are lazy and careless about sadhana or let’s say about waking up and we are not lazy and careless about everything else, (laughs) or most of the things. Then this what you call duel policy or what we call double standard; this double standard is not good. Be lazy and careless about everything, which mostly you cannot, if you are conscious enough. In an unconscious state one can be in a less conscious state of being. There are many human beings who are like this, but once you have a certain degree of consciousness you cannot be careless and lazy about everything. I mean the height of laziness is that – somebody is lying under a tree, under a grapes tree and waiting for a grape to fall in his mouth, because he says, once I open my mouth I can keep it like this. There is no work involved in it, but who will stand up and pluck this grape and put in the mouth? Wind will blow, life will move, the grape will get ripe in time, I can wait. I am not in a hurry.
So this is the height. You have to achieve the height, if you want to touch God. God is the height in everything. So whatever it is, whether it is lazy or not. You have to choose your expression, whatever is your expression, lazy expression, not lazy expression. Shine it, shine in it fully. Reach to the peak of it. Whatever is your expression actually, whether it is lazy, careless so be hundred percent lazy and careless, now don’t try to touch the opposite. The mind lives in opposites, the ego state can survive only in the opposites . Like when you are too careful, too alert and active then you feel I am too alert and active, I need to start relaxing a bit. When you start relaxing a bit, you start relaxing a bit too much, then you start sensing that I am lazy and careless. And if you continue you will sense that I am too lazy, too careless. (By the way) A lazy being does not feel I am lazy, a careless being cannot notice that I am careless. A careful being can notice that I am careless, I am being careless right now. Like my behaviour, my expression is careless right now. An active being only can notice that I am lazy. So what is your heart’s desire that you must discover, sense, feel inside you. Are you, do you want to be active or do you want to be lazy? If you want to be active, be active. Who stops you? If you want to be lazy, be lazy. Who stops you? So end this duality and conflict inside you. It will result in exactly same thing, the totality of it within ourselves results in only one and the same thing; living the Totality of Life and knowing what we are. This is what is the result of it.
I hope, I answered in some way.
Questioner: Ji very much.
Rajee – So come to One side, either active or passive, either lazy or alert, either careful or careless. If you can reach to the peak of carefulness without being too much obsessive about it or without being caught up by the mind ideas about it, like the real carefulness not the carefulness – a standard that you can carry or somebody else carries for you. You yourself keep improving, you will reach to yourself. Because the self only can be extremely or ultimately careful, which is basically beyond the standards of careful and careless. It will do exactly what is appropriate to be done. It never misses anything important actually. Go to the depth of anything that you are experiencing, choose your own expression inside you which is your favourite expression. Like for example you say, ”I want to be spontaneous.” so then be only spontaneous not opposite of it, not sometime spontaneous some time not. Then be, let every breath every second of your life be spontaneous. You are home, like this. These are different expressions, means they are like branches coming out of yourself. Touch any of them it will take you home, to the roots from where these expressions come; where you are already total and you don’t have any possibility of opposite of it. Opposite is only possible in the expressions, in the field of expressions, in the field of manifestation like somebody is lazy and somebody is not, somebody is careful and somebody is careless. Two different expressions but of the same thing, they are two different expressions of the same root, you know? You be the Root not the Expression. And that is only possible when you choose one expression inside yourself. If you choose more than one inside you, you are playing in the same field. Manifestation is just manifestation of Truth, it does not really impose any duality, or any conflict or any trouble. It is our point of view, way of looking at it that imposes this conflict or sense of duality. When you look at a tree, do you see that – every branch, every flower, every leaf that you see is duality and it is a problem? No, you see it is a wholistic expression of the tree. This whole thing is called a tree. And it is not separate from each other. But in life when we look at it from the personal standpoint then we see things like this.
Satsang is not really a process of giving you something. It is more in a way opportunity for you to See more clearly, so that it kind of refines in a way, there is some kind of refinement which is taking place in all of you. Actually it is taking place like a, not chemical but an energetic refinement. You yourself become more and more clear. You are finishing your options in a way that, “OK this is not the answer”, “this is not the answer.” Like this. (smiles)
(Excerpts from Spontaneous talks, April 2018, Pune)