This is the problem with trying to solve any spiritual problem. You can solve it but what about the one who is affected by the problem? That will still remain and that will find another problem because life is change and it is rejecting the change basically. It is saying a certain change is not acceptable, a certain change is acceptable. So today it will be peaceful, tomorrow it will be again noisy. Why don’t you jump to your true position, the witnessing position where you don’t feel these things? Now you can actually play with the life.
Questioner: There is sort of just like a negative emotional state. I am unaffected by this state, and yet there’s a feeling that I am affected by the state and it sort of needs to be gone.
Rajee: It is a very valuable time, when you are affected by anything, so don’t miss this opportunity, don’t try to fix things quickly. If you try to fix things quickly here, particularly when you are having a negative experience, you are going to miss an opportunity which can actually wake you up to your Self beyond this whole game of experiencing, experience and experiencer to your true true witnessing position.
Try to understand one thing that what is right now affected by this negativity is that portion of consciousness which will be anyway affected by the movement of consciousness, so that is why it is possible for you to experience positivity after some time or you can do something about it and it will become positive. So you can, actually there is a possibility here, when you are feeling a negativity you can feel positivity by doing something. But it will not make you free from this field where you experience negativity, so after positivity you will again feel negativity and then afterward you will have to bring it back to positivity again and then again it will turn into… it’s like a pendulum.
So what is being affected by the negativity right now is not really the consciousness which is playing in the form of waves of life; It is your attachment, attachment of the Seer with this changeful which is suffering actually, which is demanding that it should not be like this. And this is why it is so invaluable to utilize this experience when you are feeling any negativity, to be very, very crystal clear, like
What is my relation with it?
What is my objection from this negativity?
Why I want to reject this negativity right now?
If you can be very, like feel, like feeling more, seeing more neutrally, like how exactly I am affected by this negativity, then you can actually discover That which is affected and That which is not affected both, this is what I call simply seeing. You just Simply See.
The purpose of this meeting is not really to entertain. It is to meet.
These meetings are not to facilitate you achieve what you want to achieve. Although on the face of it, superficially, it feels like this. But it is to help you wake up – wake up from the bondage to time. Bondage to time is bondage to suffering. Time is suffering, because time brings change. So you can never experience stability. And if you also are in this mode of expecting stability in the field of time, that is how you will suffer. So time is changing, everything is changing in time. You enjoy by seeing the nature of things that OK everything is changing. Then no problem then you cannot suffer from time. So what suffers from time then? Our misunderstanding about how things are and that brings expectations. I am not saying wrong expectations, I am saying expectations.
The very effort, the very attitude of expectation is wrong. The Being does not expect anything. Being that you are does not expect anything. It just is. And it feels so excited about how life unfolds in front of it. It comes from the unknown womb of the being, your own womb and unfolds in this emptiness, in this spaciousness. And the way it unfolds the Being feels very excited because it is new to it. Being itself does not know this, how it will unfold, which way it will go, and it doesn’t want to know also because why it should know? It will spoil the whole joy of the game. But at certain point it becomes clear to the Being that all that can happen is nothing but a wave, a wave on the ocean. And how does it matter? How does it matter what form of the wave? What intensity? What speed? What is the life, how long it will live? How does it matter? Then the Being has started becoming restful, in itself.
You are actually more and more coming into the immediate mode of being. Like what we call ego is like a time mode of the being. And your True Nature is immediate mode of the being which does not really live in a story which is divided in past, present and future, basically time. So your being that you are, is not really bound to time. The story of this person is bound to time and you are bound to this story and that’s how you are bound to time. Don’t touch your story you are free from time and if you cannot do it, discover who you are. Who are you who is living this story? Whose story is this? Including the story of a spiritual seeker, including the story of the spiritual growth, spiritual awakening included. So this is the purpose basically of this meeting.
This now-ness is the drop of eternal light, on the lotus flower of here-ness. Love is the lover, and love is the beloved. Love is the experience, and love is the experiencer. And you are this lover, and you are This beloved. Let there be this sweetest union, Here and Now. You can only let it happen, you cannot do it. Doing is movement.
The life is moving, and mind is also moving. The moving mind seeing the moving life. It can never see it as it actually is. It can never accurately experience the movement of consciousness, it cannot fully live the experience of the life until it becomes still, until you become still or you jump out of the moving mind into your stillness.
I want to begin like this, that “What is old and what is new?” Everything that is happening is new, everything that has happened is old and not only this, even what is happening right now is becoming old, becoming old like every second it is becoming old. Ultimately we will come to this promptness and immediacy of living life where we can sense, we can see this. It doesn’t mean that we have to discard the old, value the new. In reality there is nothing like new or old which can happen. Everything that happens is new but everything that happens is happening by using this material of consciousness or light you can say which is the old. The oldest you can say. But at the same time, what I am referring to as new is YOU. You are that new and old at the same time. Old in the sense that you have not become just now, you have not been created just now, you have been here and if you understand the meaning of my statement, you will discover that I have been here today, I have been here yesterday, I have been here this year, I have been here last year. I have been here in this phase of my life, I have been here in the last phase of my life also. And slowly you will discover I have been here forever actually. Since the beginning of time I have been here.
It’s all about sensitivity of our seeing and direction of seeing. What we focus, what we value and you are that material which can give you an experience of newness. You are made of this material. Which can alone give you the experience of newness continuously, continuously. But, then what is mind? Then mind is the a collection of imprints of what happened. When it happened it was a beautiful experience, a movement in consciousness. Now it’s not there anymore. It is like consciousness is ocean and it moves and also it has a mind, just imagine if it has a mind, if it has a camera it keep clicking photos from that camera and then now comparing those images with the today’s state of affairs that ‘Today’s waves are not so much correct waves. They are wrong waves, like there is something wrong in my waves today. They are not matching the perfection criteria, they are not meeting the, you know’! That’s how it will be. There is no possibility of comparison of the past with the present like we were talking. In Hindi for present we have one word, Aaj, but for past and future we also have for past and future only one word, kal. Kal is used for past, kal is used for future also.
Ultimately to come to this purity of being and experiencing of life also, one will actually let everything go. When I say let everything go it doesn’t mean that we have control over things and we can let them go or hold them. No, we can imagine, we can capture their images and we can hold onto the image. When we say don’t hold to anything, it means don’t hold to the image or memory of it. See that it is flowing, it is already gone. When we are like this, living life as it happens then we are in sync with life, not holding any personal or local view about it.
(Excerpts from weekly call 1st April, 2018)