Fragility is only limited to the level where ego exists, the set up. Beyond that, the Being, the Presence that you are, is Anti-fragile

Questioner: So all our lives we are just accumulating concepts (?), I mean ‘Vyarth Jivan’*?

Rajee: Yes, but Is it not so good to see it like this before you leave this body? So you still have chance to know something Really? And I want to tell you, it’s so joyful to know something Really; Joyful without any external cause, or dependency on anybody or any situation.

You are naturally, independently happy. You are happy and independent from every situation and activity and flow of life. I want to tell you, it is worth. It is so good actually. But you have to acknowledge it. And shouting at garbage also is not really wise, ‘What damn you garbage, how you are here?’ There is no point. You will still waste your time. Let it go. You forgive it, forgive your garbage. I know this tendency also, like anger comes, like ‘I wasted my time’. No you did not actually. You liked this form of knowledge, that’s why you accumulated but now you are more conscious, now you don’t like it, now you like something more pure than this, more direct than this, more authentic than this. That time also you were not wrong, now also you are not wrong. It’s just different, and it is a bit sudden maybe, that’s why you’re not, your mind is not getting chance to digest it, that’s all. But still you are choosing it.

I want to tell you this, Wake Up, don’t try to control this, you cannot control it – Wake Up (to the fact) that I cannot control it and then you will be untouched by it actually. Because what is collapsing in you and what is being affected by this collapsing is not really what you are, and that’s the call, this is the Wake up call for you. This is the call that, ‘OK, let me see, then, (you will realize) what really I have and what really I am’, like this. Only keep what you really have, like breathing, it cannot be separated from you, so this knowledge if it is like breathing, keep it. Or you don’t have to keep it anyway. Anything you have to keep, let go. So that’s what life is doing; by the way It is happening forcefully, you can do it voluntarily. It is OK, let it go. I will let go everything which I have to maintain so that I can see what cannot be separated from me.

So just be firm in this clarity and all is well because if you are something which can be affected, meaning if you are something which can be disturbed by anything outside of you, anything that happens outside of you, yourself or inside of yourself, it is better that it is disturbed so you know that it can be disturbed. How to, why to keep this stability which is not a stability?

Why not expose yourself, why not encounter your vulnerability which is inside you, and beyond that is the stability of the Being, which you can say is anti-fragile, Anti-fragile – It rejoices in the challenges of life, anything that comes to it like, ‘Let’s see what happens’, you know like this, this is your Being, this is your true nature. Fragility is only limited to the level where ego exists, the set up. Beyond that, the Being, the Presence that you are, is Anti-fragile, it doesn’t mind collapsing of anything you know like this, so remember this, OK? Spend time more in meditating, in this Simple Seeing, even if second step only. When not able to stay in the second step, see the first step, it is OK to feel fear of collapsing into third step, so don’t do it, no problem. But first and second step then will be very valuable for you, and very soon you will desire to merge actually. Right now you fear to merge, after some time you will desire to merge, you will pray to merge actually, ‘Hey, I want to merge please, it’s kind of unbearable to be separate from my own Self’, like this, so just do it, OK?

(Excerpts from Online Meeting dated 24th February, 2018)

* ‘Vyarth Jivan’ is a hindi word which literally means meaningless life

Don’t try to still your mind, YOU Become STILL

This very idea of trying to find ourself is based in very deep misunderstanding of separation, actually experience of separation and we, for quite sometime don’t really understand that, ”How can I find myself, I am going to be the finder of myself and how?”. It’s a very fundamental mistake that we all are making. And it should be said as many times as necessary. And it must be heard equally also. But what happens is that we keep listening to these things and it creates another hypnosis, you know like this, “Yes, I understand” and “How can I find myself.” and still we continue trying to search ourself and find ourself,

If you understand this, your search finishes that day, completely. Now you can not move a single inch out of yourself, inside of yourself you will now only explore yourself, Explore Yourself (smiles). This is called end of search. Beginning of waking up you can say in a way, like this. How can I find myself in time somewhere because I need to be present to find myself to acknowledge that, ”Hey I got it!” and who will be this one, who got it? Yourself, because you say, ”I will, I got it or I will get it.” But why don’t you explore this I, which will get it in future, why don’t you explore it in present? Then you will not need to find it in future. Then the search ends right now. No effort necessary now for future to find yourself. That’s what I am saying, I mean it’s same thing I am saying in so many different ways.

So basically what we have to do is we don’t really have to complete any journey to wake up to who we are, to enjoy our own presence and the joy which is already here. We need to wake up from this kind of a hypnosis that we have – You know we have to wake up from this kind of hypnosis we have that, there is something in future, which is going to make me more myself, more of myself.

I was also like, everyone knows, trying to meditate so much, trying to see things more clearly, trying to analyze the mind and like this and hope that my thoughts will vanish and that will be called awakening. And I was missing all this while – Myself, the doer of meditation, the observer of thoughts and the one who was hoping to have an empty mind. (smiles) I never wondered, who I am really who wonders these thing. It is Guruji’s grace that he brought my attention to this light, like ‘have you checked, who are you the meditater of all your meditations and all your efforts?’ I really felt, really really surprised like, Why I never looked in this direction, you know? It’s strange thing.

So if any effort of meditation does not bounce back the light of seeing onto the doer of it, it cannot produce awakening. It can only produce relative growth you can say in the consciousness in a way, like it can make you more conscious, but every effort of meditation must be like a circle which begins by throwing your light of seeing on to what you see and then it must become like a mirror for you to bounce back to that light to the Seer of it. Then only the circle is complete and then only it can produce awakening to who you are. That’s my effort, Three Steps Simple Seeing.
(Rajee smiles)

You start throwing your light of seeing on to what you see inside you, the middle position (Second step of Simple Seeing – 3 Steps). You stay as the Seer and then finally bouncing all of that light onto the real Seer of it. Like who is this real seer, from where it sees like this. This is the same circle which I am talking about right now Simple seeing three steps. You will know one day how powerful this Simple Seeing three step is. But because it is very simple that not many people feel interested. Your seeing should become so still and kind of in a way relaxed you can say or sober that what you see becomes like a mirror in which you can see yourself. This is what is awakening. So your mind doesn’t have to become still for you to see your true face in it, You Have To Become Still, while you are seeing the mind, while you are watching your mind. If you don’t move doesn’t matter how many objects are moving in the mind, if they are like clouds floating in the sky but the sky is not floating, sky of mind, the space of mind is also not floating and it becomes a mirror for you to see, who you are. You know? It’s very very simple and direct like this. You don’t try to still your mind you become still, while you are watching your mind, or anything for that matter, inside you.

(Excerpts from Spontaneous Talks at Dharamshala, May 2018)

Simple Seeing Video link
https://youtu.be/gNcip_TAyXE

Is being Total and being Here is very much the same?

Questioner: Is being Total and being Here is very much the same?

Rajee: Remember that being Here and being Total are not different with each other but in both the cases there are some things to be understood or you can say we need to be alert about, because many people have this experience that “ I am just Here “ and yet their life is not free from sense of suffering. When you are Here, you are actually free from suffering and once you are free from suffering, you will learn that,” If I don’t go away from here, I can never suffer.” Then you will not go from here and then you will never suffer but those – I hear from my students and other friends, they are saying, “ yes I understand what is the meaning of being Here and I am being Here continuously“ and they are still suffering. Suffering is not when you are shouting ‘Oh my life is hell’ Suffering is also when you have confusion. Confusion which holds, which can hold you, which can kind of hold your existence, which can stop you from living life – anything which can stop you from living life is suffering in a form of being hostage. This is suffering, even sometimes it can be very lightweight. You are in the heaven of your own self, silent and peaceful and yet some thought comes, feeling comes, it kind of spoils the whole sweetness. This is a form of suffering only.
So remember this.

There are many possibilities we must begin with and you must see. Your mind will be highlighted more and more, which is giving the impression that ‘ I am Here’ but actually it is not Here. When you are Here what does it mean? Let me tell you all. In reality, the meaning of being Here is being Wholeness of Life. You are not trying to be here, you are Already and Always Here, this Here-ness is not the experience of body and mind. It is the experience of beyond-ness which experiences itself as the very presence of life in all the times, in all the places, all the spaces also.

So this being Here is just the beginning, What we know as being Here is just a beginning. Being Here also means being Total. Being Total also means being responsible. You don’t dismiss anything, being responsible also means undivided. you don’t stop acting in life. You do very reasonably respond to life events in a very human way, you do everything but without being divided. This is the thing that I am trying to teach all of you, to integrate yourself. Don’t let your mind believe that you are divided. For the team we have this opportunity that you can learn this in the Sangha work. Because work is what gives us most strong experience of not being alive, not being joyful, you know like this. So this you have to overcome. If you overcome this, you are really in a very nice state you can say.

Being Here in essence is claiming back your stillness which never moves. Once claimed you never lose (smiles). It and now you know that I move and I don’t move at the same time. What moves is an appearance in the stillness which does not move. It’s a much bigger knowledge than we think at first, you know? It is end of ignorance of any form. You don’t have to remove ignorance after this, there is no ignorance left after this actually. You have come HOME completely HERE.

(Excerpts from Spontaneous talks on Totality Part 2, at Candolim Goa April 2018)

Wake up to the reality that I don’t really need to be so secured in order to function in life

This topic of being Partial or being Total looks like very superficial, something at the mind level. No, it is in the very heart of life. Doing things partially is operating from the ego state, doing things totally is operating from your heart center actually or the center of presence you can say. This is the difference between being Total and being Partial and as a result what happens is that if you start being total in whatever you do as much as you can, you kind of start coming back to your heart center – to your true center. It becomes like a passage for you to come back from the mind to the heart. This is the value of being Total but somehow we don’t understand this. As I said, mostly mind lives in a continuous dismissal of things. It dismisses most of the things – all the fears, all the what you call all the threats of life. It dismisses them, covers them, hides them, suppresses them in whatever way. If you can actually open up and fully see what life is, then mind almost cannot work actually here because it is trained to work in this mode of continuously suppressing and labeling things as OK, Everything is OK.

It’s like this, like a joke I remember. Somebody calls someone, how are you?’ like one friend calling to other ‘I am fine’ and this friend who is calling said ‘how is everything in my family’ because this friend is away from family and that’s why he is checking. So the friend who is with the family, with his family says that ‘it is ok. Your father met with an accident last month and he passed away but rest is fine, your buffalo jumped off the cliff and she disappeared, rest is ok, your wife ran away with a stranger rest is ok, your house collapsed in the last rain and so there is no house you have anymore in the village but rest is ok and your land which you used for crops has been taken over by the landlord here but rest is ok.’ This is mind – ‘Rest is ok.’ (everyone is laughing)

Don’t buy this, live in this difficult apparently disturbing state of life, you will wakeup. You will wakeup to the reality that I don’t really need to be so secured in order to function in life. You are the what I know, what I love to talk about – the anti antifragility. Antifragile nature of the being will wakeup here which feels challenged and becomes more and more rich and becomes more strong by being challenged. The mind collapses if it is challenged by life, life situations too much; but the Being flourishes, flowers. So this is also something to be understood in this context of being Total because if you are for example Total right now as a meditator as a seeker of truth you have the peace inside you but also you have disturbance inside you in the form of mind which comes sometimes, which takes away your peace apparently, experientially and if you can let it be the way it is, if you can stop rejecting it, You are Whole because being Total is being Whole; being partial is being Divided.

(Excerpts from Spontaneous talks on Totality Part 1, at Candolim Goa April 2018)

Surrendering back to Life

A Pure Being don’t have any sense of achievement. They just feel free and lightened, just looking around, What’s going on. It is life which has become free, free from all the sense of achievement, now it likes to eat fresh, Now the life in this form likes to eat fresh everyday. They are more child like, like not so heavy or not so, you know not so much like present, but they are more like absent. This being present is also a form they can take sometime but sometime not, based on the need of the moment.

You are in your true state like a pure capacity of seeing without any place to keep anything that you see, so there is no point in holding on to anything, you don’t have any place to hold on to, like to hold on to you need some space where you can keep things. The pure seeing does not have any memory or does not value any memory you can say. There is a memory in the mind level but in the being, soul level or something it doesn’t value any memory. The freshness is regarded more than anything else, is valued more than anything else. FRESHNESS, and for this freshness you will, you do sacrifice everything that you have known today. You would not like to keep it for tomorrow. It’s a very strange different state. You feel that a pure seer is like a being who has like a cluster of sacred knowledge or something. NO, it is the very essence of life which has become free, now looking around what’s going on in life, guys! Who I am and who are you? (laughs)

It’s like you wonder about everything, this wonder is the most fundamental quality you have in the Being when Being is free. You wonder about everything because you have no reservations, restrictions, you don’t assume anything. You don’t assume that – OK, Mila, you are the Self, I am the Self. No, everyday you eat fresh, everyday you look again, we meet fresh again and again.
(smiles)

Being free basically is Existence, Wonder, not knowledge. It’s not knowledge in this way and yet you know everything actually, which can be known. And yet you are not satisfied by it. You feel, you know, now something deeper known, knowing is possible. Now the knowledge of essence is possible, knowledge of knower is possible, not the knower at the mind level or the soul level. The very, very knower of life can know itself now. That’s how it feels excited and like ‘Wow’. It sacrifices all it’s knowledge, surrenders back to life that,“I am OK, I am fine alone without any knowledge” because I want to know the most fundamental – the knower, I want to know the knower. I want to know the perceiver, no?

(Excerpts from Spontaneous Talks at Dharamshala, May 2018)

I bring my Silence to the table

Sometimes I feel that our meetings are more like a potluck – everybody bring some pot of food homemade or otherwise and we put on the table and everybody eats based on their own interests, sometimes you will eat only what you serve, what you have brought, sometimes you will eat what others have brought also, is it not like this? I feel sometimes, satsang, meetings are like this.

So, I also want to put something from my side, from my pot also in case anybody likes to eat.

I bring myself to the table, I bring my Silence to the table, if you see my pot empty remember I have brought space because I think sometimes we need lot of space or sometimes we need space to enjoy everything that we have. You can enjoy it may be a little more when you are given little more space in everything. Like space between the two words, space between the two meals, space between the two bites may be also, you know? So I have brought space, I have brought silence, I have brought myself to the table, this is the best thing I have. Everybody is bringing best thing, I should also bring the best to you, as I said not many buyers not many takers of it, but I still will try to bring it as much as I can,

I will say little more also that this space which I have brought to you on your table and the space which you see outside, in which the universe is happening, it is not the different space, same space. This space which I have, I am sharing with you right now and always is in which everything is happening in a way. When I say in a way I mean actually everything is made of this space also, that’s why when you are more conscious, you will need space more than anything else, you will not need more items in your mind or in your heart, you will need more space, because you are made of space, like this, na? I just felt very, it’s a very humble thing not like I am bringing this out of arrogance, you are also space, you also have space which I am bringing on the table, maybe you don’t value it so much right now. So, my only qualification inside me which makes me help you is that I value the space which I am, I value what I am.

(Excerpts from Spontaneous Talks at Dharamshala, May 2018)

Why do we have obsessive thinking and excessive thinking?

Questioner: – Why do we have obsessive thinking and excessive thinking?

Rajee: – Actually it is true, what we normally see, what we think, the way we think, our mind functioning is basically not really at its best – in our day to day life, in normal life. But we don’t notice it because we don’t know any other way of living life.

As we start going deeper than the mind we start tasting the silence or you can say emptiness of our own Self, the spaciousness of our own Self, where we don’t have so much thinking or you can say you don’t have thinking at all actually.

So basically that taste kind of makes you sensitive towards the fact that you are thinking too much, that you are thinking obsessively and excessively, you know, like this. So this excessive thinking and obsessive thinking is more and more highlighted. You feel like ‘Why I‘m thinking so much?’

Here there are two things basically to be understood.

One is that why this obsessive and excessive thinking happens? It does not really happen because it is necessary for you to think about what you want to think. It happens because of the sense of fear and that sense of fear is because of the sense of identity we have in the mind field and we call it Myself. Like you the spaciousness of life, gets attached to that thought which creates your self image, identity. Now you are also in the mind and thinking is also happening in the mind in a way, you can say. You are not in the mind really but you are in the mind through this self image because you are attached to it, so that is why the water of the mind gets stirred up too much, because the thinker of the mind, of the thoughts, is also in the mind in the form of a thought, a persistent thought, you know, a continuous thought. And every thought changes. Actually every thought, meaning every thought that moves in the mind affects every other thought. So, it is the thinker of the mind also which is affected by thinking, and then it thinks in a different way, and then it is affected in a different way, like it becomes like a recursive loop where you keep boiling the same content, you keep purifying the same thing, like this, so this is the reason why we think obsessively and excessively.

So one way to be free from it, the best way, I would say most direct way is to drop out of it into your emptiness, into your spaciousness more and more, you know, like this. The more you stay in your emptiness, in your spaciousness, the less energy mind gets, the less energy mind gets, the less it will run. Mind is not independent, that thoughts cannot just run by themselves. There is somebody needed to drive them, to motivate them, to attend them, to look into them, like this. So that is why they kind of keep happening in us, or to us you can say. So if you stay more and more in your own spaciousness, then this obsessive and excessive thinking will get balanced by itself, it will be harmonized by itself.

Second way is, to have some clarity at the mind level, Clarity – at the mind level. And what you can do is, what I call, just sit every day and when or whenever necessary, just have a look at your mind, that ‘What is going on right now?’ and you will be able to see more neutrally, this is the mind field only, that ‘I don’t really need to think so much about everything right now, I only have to think about what is next, or what is today, or at the max what is this week maybe. Like The whole life is not on my head right now, just my one week next that I have to deal with, or certain things which are important, which will be in future of one year, two years, ten years even, but still they are important to be attended today, but not so many things.

And what I found, when you are in this nice state of clarity at the mind level, and resting in your Self and discovering also who you are, the thinking process becomes so simple actually, like it’s so simple that you don’t feel that you have thoughts. At first, I used to wonder like, ‘Where are my thoughts actually? Where they have gone?’, because I am able to think but I’m not able to notice the thoughts. This is also you notice. Like it becomes so sharp, so fast and so simple, you only think as much as you need to think, not a single extra thought. Then your mind is more, like you can say that ‘My mind is empty all the time’. Even when you are thinking your mind is empty because mind thoughts cannot move when you don’t want them to move, you know, like this, something like this you can say.

So when you have decided not to think, thoughts don’t move, and it is possible only when you are clear, when you are CLEAR about yourself and when you are clear about this mind level also, that why you need to think? This is where the value of observation of the mind comes in. Observation of the mind is not to get some spiritual fruits in the sense of some spiritual experiences or something. It was to get some clarity so that the non-essential, obsessive and compulsive thinking falls by itself, it falls by itself. It’s like this, that by nature, all the ego states have a fear, a base sense of fear, so if you are sitting right now, listening to me and if you are in your ego state you will be continuously caring so much about your sandals, for example, your shoes, other belongings, but when you are clear that it is a more valuable thing right now to attend to this talk, then what you will do is you will put your belongings in such a way that you don’t have to attend to them continuously, and like this you are now free. This kind of clarity takes place continuously at the mind field, what you should think and when. This ‘When’ is very important. You don’t have to keep thinking all the time everything.

I hope it makes it clear to you little bit.

So everybody uses thinking, everybody needs to use thinking as much as necessary but it doesn’t mean that, most of the thinking that is going on in the mind is non-essential or not necessary. When this non-essential or obsessive and excessive thinking falls away, you have so much energy in the mind, mind is so fresh and resting that when you give a command to it, that ‘Hey I have to think about it’, all the resources are employed for it and you can think much better than before actually, you know, very quickly. So before it is like 90% of your mind energy is being wasted, (and) now hundred percent of your energy is available to you with a zero wastage. Obviously you can see the miracle, like you can think miraculously now.

Mind and Presence are not two things actually, Your mind, harmonious, illuminous and joyful is nothing but presence without obsessive thinking. (Rajee giggles). This is only possible when you have become clear that ‘I’ is a thought only.

I am that I, not what I think about it. The thinker of ‘I’ is the real I, not the I-thought.

(Excerpts from talks at Candolim beach, Goa April 2018)

Sense of Incompletion – the driving force of life

When this sense of incompletion is outward oriented then it creates in life; it creates all that can give any sense of completion.

When attended at the very core of it then it unfolds like a divine flower, it expresses itself in most beautiful and loving ways and finally it introduces life to life; it becomes the medium through which life discovers itself.

The sense of incompletion is present in all living beings and it is at the very core of whole life.

So what is this sense of incompletion?
In my understanding, the Sense of Incompletion is the very driving force through which life experiences movement, creation, expression, experiencing and knowing of itself.

At the very core of it this sense of incompletion is divine restlessness with a blueprint of how it will be manifested and finally will be dissolved. Some also call this divine restlessness the heart of the being or the very soul.

When the focus of the being is outward oriented and the attention is mostly stuck in the mind (thought process, beliefs) then we try to cover this rooted sense of incompletion by different experiences of life. Although all experiences work more or less like pain killer for it but most are fine with this model until we get bored of it.

As our attention starts getting free from mind partially, we start sensing that whatever life is bringing to me is not able to resolve this rooted sense of incompletion; it only covers it for the time being. We start wondering that there has to be some other way of living life.

At some point all beings do realize that trying to find a readymade fix for this rooted inner sense of incompletion without knowing it, is like taking different treatments without doing a thorough diagnosis of the disease. So we try to figure out by ourself what exactly is this inner restlessness which we are not able to resolve by doing anything externally. None of our doings seem to help relieve us from this restlessness.

And as we start exploring this sense of incompletion within with neutral mind, we have stumbled upon the treasure of treasures; we have reached to the very core of ourself. This is the seed of pure consciousness packaged by formless in a form of desire to express itself, to know itself. This is the very heart of the form that we are and it is created by life itself, the formlessness.

The more we stay here in this sense of incompletion, the more we see it’s not something negative. It is felt very simply that this sense is a beautiful, sweet presence of life which wants to flow out to express itself and wants to flow in to know its own depths. The sense of knowledge (thought process, beliefs) still plays its role by resisting to this divine sense of restlessness within but cannot distract us anymore since we have tasted the very nectar of our own being, the sweetest thing one can experience.

Slowly the attention which was stuck in mind, starts flowing in into this presence, this divine restlessness; and finally merges with it so much that the doubts of the mind are not given any value. One starts living life from within, a life which flows from inside to outside; a life of beauty, love for all, peace and inner joy.

Hope this sharing helps you see bit more clearly beloved!

This Emptiness is your Self

You are asking that what you feel like empty inside you, What is that?

I mean if you look at it from the mind space from where you are coming now, it is like absence, it is like absence of thoughts, it is like absence of sense of being someone, sense of identity, it is like absence of sense of thinker, it is like inactive state, like you don’t do anything, you don’t think anything, you are not anything, you know, like this. It just feels like this, (but) it is not really.

This emptiness is the real thinker, it is the real doer, without doing anything, It thinks without thinking, It does without doing. It is your Self, it is your True Self. When the effect of mind reduces then you will be able to see that there was no mind ever anywhere inside me, there was nobody else thinking, there was just me, I was sleeping, I was sleeping.

So when you start living as this emptiness more and more, you are at your best. If for thinking, for doing anything, you do without doing, you think without thinking, by just staying as your Self, everything is done, you know.

Because this emptiness that you are asking me what it is, this emptiness is the very Source from where different streams are coming out. The stream of desire comes out of it, momentary desires, or activity you can say like an unfolding of a flower.

And it is so much in line with what is happening around you that nobody can – unless you tell them that you are a spiritual being – nobody can even notice that you are a spiritual being. It is so smooth and seamless, and yet everybody will feel slowly slowly that you are more loving, caring or you can say, kind of beautiful. Like they find, they start sensing your beauty actually.

So this emptiness is your Self inside you, inside you this emptiness is your Self, and what you think you are right now is not your Self, actually. What you think you are right now is a process happening on You, like waves happening on an ocean, the silence of the ocean, silence of the ocean.

(Excerpts from spontaneous talks at Candolim, Goa 2018)

Flow of the Heart

Within ourself there is life flow coming out of our heart/self, which is deeper than and beyond mind/thinking process. It is based in the wisdom of intuition; and is in harmony with the whole life, with all beings.
And our heart is like a seed, unfolds like a flower when right climate is given.

Suffering is experienced when we don’t flow with our heart’s flow.
Natural and every growing happiness is experienced when we flow with our heart’s flow.

As long as we have any value for mind/thinking process, we do continue thinking with the hope that it will produce happiness.
Once the limitation of thinking process is exposed, we naturally start looking for alternative ways of living a happy life. And at this point we start knowing and appreciating the ways of intuition and the flow of heart.