Why do we have obsessive thinking and excessive thinking?

Questioner: – Why do we have obsessive thinking and excessive thinking?

Rajee: – Actually it is true, what we normally see, what we think, the way we think, our mind functioning is basically not really at its best – in our day to day life, in normal life. But we don’t notice it because we don’t know any other way of living life.

As we start going deeper than the mind we start tasting the silence or you can say emptiness of our own Self, the spaciousness of our own Self, where we don’t have so much thinking or you can say you don’t have thinking at all actually.

So basically that taste kind of makes you sensitive towards the fact that you are thinking too much, that you are thinking obsessively and excessively, you know, like this. So this excessive thinking and obsessive thinking is more and more highlighted. You feel like ‘Why I‘m thinking so much?’

Here there are two things basically to be understood.

One is that why this obsessive and excessive thinking happens? It does not really happen because it is necessary for you to think about what you want to think. It happens because of the sense of fear and that sense of fear is because of the sense of identity we have in the mind field and we call it Myself. Like you the spaciousness of life, gets attached to that thought which creates your self image, identity. Now you are also in the mind and thinking is also happening in the mind in a way, you can say. You are not in the mind really but you are in the mind through this self image because you are attached to it, so that is why the water of the mind gets stirred up too much, because the thinker of the mind, of the thoughts, is also in the mind in the form of a thought, a persistent thought, you know, a continuous thought. And every thought changes. Actually every thought, meaning every thought that moves in the mind affects every other thought. So, it is the thinker of the mind also which is affected by thinking, and then it thinks in a different way, and then it is affected in a different way, like it becomes like a recursive loop where you keep boiling the same content, you keep purifying the same thing, like this, so this is the reason why we think obsessively and excessively.

So one way to be free from it, the best way, I would say most direct way is to drop out of it into your emptiness, into your spaciousness more and more, you know, like this. The more you stay in your emptiness, in your spaciousness, the less energy mind gets, the less energy mind gets, the less it will run. Mind is not independent, that thoughts cannot just run by themselves. There is somebody needed to drive them, to motivate them, to attend them, to look into them, like this. So that is why they kind of keep happening in us, or to us you can say. So if you stay more and more in your own spaciousness, then this obsessive and excessive thinking will get balanced by itself, it will be harmonized by itself.

Second way is, to have some clarity at the mind level, Clarity – at the mind level. And what you can do is, what I call, just sit every day and when or whenever necessary, just have a look at your mind, that ‘What is going on right now?’ and you will be able to see more neutrally, this is the mind field only, that ‘I don’t really need to think so much about everything right now, I only have to think about what is next, or what is today, or at the max what is this week maybe. Like The whole life is not on my head right now, just my one week next that I have to deal with, or certain things which are important, which will be in future of one year, two years, ten years even, but still they are important to be attended today, but not so many things.

And what I found, when you are in this nice state of clarity at the mind level, and resting in your Self and discovering also who you are, the thinking process becomes so simple actually, like it’s so simple that you don’t feel that you have thoughts. At first, I used to wonder like, ‘Where are my thoughts actually? Where they have gone?’, because I am able to think but I’m not able to notice the thoughts. This is also you notice. Like it becomes so sharp, so fast and so simple, you only think as much as you need to think, not a single extra thought. Then your mind is more, like you can say that ‘My mind is empty all the time’. Even when you are thinking your mind is empty because mind thoughts cannot move when you don’t want them to move, you know, like this, something like this you can say.

So when you have decided not to think, thoughts don’t move, and it is possible only when you are clear, when you are CLEAR about yourself and when you are clear about this mind level also, that why you need to think? This is where the value of observation of the mind comes in. Observation of the mind is not to get some spiritual fruits in the sense of some spiritual experiences or something. It was to get some clarity so that the non-essential, obsessive and compulsive thinking falls by itself, it falls by itself. It’s like this, that by nature, all the ego states have a fear, a base sense of fear, so if you are sitting right now, listening to me and if you are in your ego state you will be continuously caring so much about your sandals, for example, your shoes, other belongings, but when you are clear that it is a more valuable thing right now to attend to this talk, then what you will do is you will put your belongings in such a way that you don’t have to attend to them continuously, and like this you are now free. This kind of clarity takes place continuously at the mind field, what you should think and when. This ‘When’ is very important. You don’t have to keep thinking all the time everything.

I hope it makes it clear to you little bit.

So everybody uses thinking, everybody needs to use thinking as much as necessary but it doesn’t mean that, most of the thinking that is going on in the mind is non-essential or not necessary. When this non-essential or obsessive and excessive thinking falls away, you have so much energy in the mind, mind is so fresh and resting that when you give a command to it, that ‘Hey I have to think about it’, all the resources are employed for it and you can think much better than before actually, you know, very quickly. So before it is like 90% of your mind energy is being wasted, (and) now hundred percent of your energy is available to you with a zero wastage. Obviously you can see the miracle, like you can think miraculously now.

Mind and Presence are not two things actually, Your mind, harmonious, illuminous and joyful is nothing but presence without obsessive thinking. (Rajee giggles). This is only possible when you have become clear that ‘I’ is a thought only.

I am that I, not what I think about it. The thinker of ‘I’ is the real I, not the I-thought.

(Excerpts from talks at Candolim beach, Goa April 2018)

Sense of Incompletion – the driving force of life

When this sense of incompletion is outward oriented then it creates in life; it creates all that can give any sense of completion.

When attended at the very core of it then it unfolds like a divine flower, it expresses itself in most beautiful and loving ways and finally it introduces life to life; it becomes the medium through which life discovers itself.

The sense of incompletion is present in all living beings and it is at the very core of whole life.

So what is this sense of incompletion?
In my understanding, the Sense of Incompletion is the very driving force through which life experiences movement, creation, expression, experiencing and knowing of itself.

At the very core of it this sense of incompletion is divine restlessness with a blueprint of how it will be manifested and finally will be dissolved. Some also call this divine restlessness the heart of the being or the very soul.

When the focus of the being is outward oriented and the attention is mostly stuck in the mind (thought process, beliefs) then we try to cover this rooted sense of incompletion by different experiences of life. Although all experiences work more or less like pain killer for it but most are fine with this model until we get bored of it.

As our attention starts getting free from mind partially, we start sensing that whatever life is bringing to me is not able to resolve this rooted sense of incompletion; it only covers it for the time being. We start wondering that there has to be some other way of living life.

At some point all beings do realize that trying to find a readymade fix for this rooted inner sense of incompletion without knowing it, is like taking different treatments without doing a thorough diagnosis of the disease. So we try to figure out by ourself what exactly is this inner restlessness which we are not able to resolve by doing anything externally. None of our doings seem to help relieve us from this restlessness.

And as we start exploring this sense of incompletion within with neutral mind, we have stumbled upon the treasure of treasures; we have reached to the very core of ourself. This is the seed of pure consciousness packaged by formless in a form of desire to express itself, to know itself. This is the very heart of the form that we are and it is created by life itself, the formlessness.

The more we stay here in this sense of incompletion, the more we see it’s not something negative. It is felt very simply that this sense is a beautiful, sweet presence of life which wants to flow out to express itself and wants to flow in to know its own depths. The sense of knowledge (thought process, beliefs) still plays its role by resisting to this divine sense of restlessness within but cannot distract us anymore since we have tasted the very nectar of our own being, the sweetest thing one can experience.

Slowly the attention which was stuck in mind, starts flowing in into this presence, this divine restlessness; and finally merges with it so much that the doubts of the mind are not given any value. One starts living life from within, a life which flows from inside to outside; a life of beauty, love for all, peace and inner joy.

Hope this sharing helps you see bit more clearly beloved!

This Emptiness is your Self

You are asking that what you feel like empty inside you, What is that?

I mean if you look at it from the mind space from where you are coming now, it is like absence, it is like absence of thoughts, it is like absence of sense of being someone, sense of identity, it is like absence of sense of thinker, it is like inactive state, like you don’t do anything, you don’t think anything, you are not anything, you know, like this. It just feels like this, (but) it is not really.

This emptiness is the real thinker, it is the real doer, without doing anything, It thinks without thinking, It does without doing. It is your Self, it is your True Self. When the effect of mind reduces then you will be able to see that there was no mind ever anywhere inside me, there was nobody else thinking, there was just me, I was sleeping, I was sleeping.

So when you start living as this emptiness more and more, you are at your best. If for thinking, for doing anything, you do without doing, you think without thinking, by just staying as your Self, everything is done, you know.

Because this emptiness that you are asking me what it is, this emptiness is the very Source from where different streams are coming out. The stream of desire comes out of it, momentary desires, or activity you can say like an unfolding of a flower.

And it is so much in line with what is happening around you that nobody can – unless you tell them that you are a spiritual being – nobody can even notice that you are a spiritual being. It is so smooth and seamless, and yet everybody will feel slowly slowly that you are more loving, caring or you can say, kind of beautiful. Like they find, they start sensing your beauty actually.

So this emptiness is your Self inside you, inside you this emptiness is your Self, and what you think you are right now is not your Self, actually. What you think you are right now is a process happening on You, like waves happening on an ocean, the silence of the ocean, silence of the ocean.

(Excerpts from spontaneous talks at Candolim, Goa 2018)

Flow of the Heart

Within ourself there is life flow coming out of our heart/self, which is deeper than and beyond mind/thinking process. It is based in the wisdom of intuition; and is in harmony with the whole life, with all beings.
And our heart is like a seed, unfolds like a flower when right climate is given.

Suffering is experienced when we don’t flow with our heart’s flow.
Natural and every growing happiness is experienced when we flow with our heart’s flow.

As long as we have any value for mind/thinking process, we do continue thinking with the hope that it will produce happiness.
Once the limitation of thinking process is exposed, we naturally start looking for alternative ways of living a happy life. And at this point we start knowing and appreciating the ways of intuition and the flow of heart.

Reality and the corresponding mind objects

Questioner – When we say ‘Stay as the Seer’, and the Seer is not an object or it is not an entity, sometimes I get confused by that, how can I stay as the Seer?

Rajee – Oh yes, yes, it’s a good question. You are asking that, how to stay as the Seer if the Seer is not an object? Then when it is suggested that stay as the Seer, it means it is suggested that stay as your Self, that’s the meaning of it actually. This is the meaning of it, stay as your Self. But now, how you will stay as yourself, if you don’t know who you are? And how you will know your Self? There are 2 ways. One is Self-Inquiry, inquiring into ‘I’, meaning inquiring into who I am, at any point of time. Not like a spiritual I or non spiritual I, but just the plain simple ‘I’ that you are. So this is one way. Another way, that you are talking right now, is Seeing. The Seeing is necessary because we believe that we are the objects or we are with the objects. We believe or we experience association with what we see, that’s why we almost stay as objects actually. So your question is very genuine and valid, I would say. So what you do is, don’t try to stay as the Seer directly, follow the first step of the Simple Seeing, first SEE for a few minutes, two, three, four minutes, five minutes, just simply See. This Simple Seeing will kind of detach you from the objects – meaning your association with what you see will break, and just for few minutes now, you can actually stay as yourself, not like Seer of objects but more a remembrance that I am the Seer. What you are seeing is not important but more like your remembrance – kind of a feeling that seeing is important. Do you follow what I am saying?

So it is very necessary for you to stay as the Seer, that you follow first step, without fail you should practice first step always. You can try to stay as the Seer but you will stay as the Seer which is mixed with objects also. And in the objects two main things are there: body – body means the experiencing faculty in the physical realm, and the mind – which imagines, thinks.

One interesting thing I want to share with you here is – everything that you are experiencing in life, it is not something to be taken literally, but something which will help you really, all of you I feel, that every object that you experience outside of yourself has a corresponding object inside the mind also, otherwise you cannot experience it. So this journey of ego to the Seer is moving from the mind object to the reality of life. In one way you can say rather than experiencing life through mind objects, experiencing it directly through the body, senses, and consciousness. And this is the way: stay as the Seer. If you stay as the Seer, your energies detach from the mind objects, which are as valuable for you as the real one right now because you don’t attach, connect to the real ones directly right now. And because of that, energy is given to the mind objects and they live in you almost like forever. And when you withdraw your energy, do not give value to them, they die by themselves, because they are not objects really, they are thoughts you give value to. They just settle down by themselves. Now you can have a cup of tea in a restaurant without thinking about anything, including the cup of tea. Not thinking like how divine this cup of tea is, not like this, No, there is no need for that. Why? You can be just as simple as you are. Let it be the most simple tea, cup of tea, not a spiritual cup of tea and you will know what life is. You will know what a real cup of tea is and from those mind objects which live with you as reality – inside you, inside the Seer, you have to be free from them also. This is we are missing (smiles).

Like (right now) – ‘Kiran, Oh I know you Kiran’. This is a mind object that lives inside me and if it is given more value, I will never meet real Kiran. That’s what I’m saying, and this is what is the meaning of letting go of your past and giving value to the moment, to the present. Because Kiran is present, but the mind object that I have is like a self sustained, self correcting and improving object inside the mind, which has the whole history of Kiran and my relation with him, interactions with him, and everything, like somehow putting it aside and having a real meeting. That’s what I’ve been calling, telling all of you, that let’s have a real meeting. You are not meeting me, you are meeting an object in your mind called Rajee, even when you come in this meeting, in this room. If you meet me you will wake up right now, because I’m not touching any past or anything, I’m not giving value to what I know about you, I’m meeting you right now, as you are, a reality of this moment.

[ Excerpts from Online Meeting 24th February, 2018 ]
[ 14.36 to 21.18  https://youtu.be/R7hY7r8GwnY ]
[ Guided Meditation by Rajee “Simple Seeing: 3 Step” https://youtu.be/gNcip_TAyXE ]

What is Transcendence really?

Transcendence is one of the most fundamental approaches, which is very useful in spiritual progress. And it is actually vital element in the process of awakening. Simply put, it is transcending duality. Not the duality that we learn theoretically in spiritual journey, but the duality that we experience ourself in life. Hunger and fulfillment of hunger is one of the simplest examples of duality that we experience in our life. Other dualistic experiences that we have are stress (at body and mind level) and release from it, worrying about something and being free from it, feeling happy and sad etc.

Why you need to transcend duality?
We don’t need to really. Duality itself is never a problem and doesn’t produce any pleasant or unpleasant experiences by itself; in duality everything follows its own nature. Our experience of duality is based on our state and the knowledge we have of nature of things, of life flow. But we would agree that we do have unwanted experiences and try to get rid of them. Basically an unwanted experience is the struggle to be free from a certain level of experiencing and not finding a way out. Although mostly we are not aware of the nature of things here and so we try to remove one part of the dualistic experience while trying to keep the other. And this struggle doesn’t take us anywhere except in more and more tiredness. Here approach of transcendence becomes very useful.

So is transcendence escaping the experience or confronting it?
It is none of them. Both escaping and confronting the experience require us to be engaged with the experience directly, with the hope to remove it. In escaping an experience, we try to become numb about it or try to cover it with some ‘pain killer experience’; basically try to divert our attention from it. Confronting the unwanted experience is commonly seen as living the experience as it is. Although confronting an unwanted experience may wake you up altogether to a different level of your existence, yet it mostly doesn’t because the focus is on removing the experience not transcending it. So this approach also keeps us engaged with and limited to the unwanted experience.

Transcendence is as natural as breathing when we know the right thing
Let me explain with an example. Suppose you are a balloon full of hot air, tied to a thread and stuck in bushes on the earth. You have capacity of rising in the sky and experiencing it’s vastness, you have desire to be free from earth and rise in the sky also. So what need to be done in order for you to rise to the sky? Do you need to push yourself towards the sky or you just need to be free from the bushes on the earth?

Transcending doesn’t really require any push towards the higher level; it only needs freedom from the dualistic level of experience we are in. So if we just don’t hold on to anything at the level of dualistic experience where we are troubled, we simply start rising from this level to a higher level of consciousness. If we can refrain ourself from taking side of any part of the dualistic experience, we get pulled into a deeper level of life than the present level. And this deeper level is the answer to your desire to be free from ‘unwanted experience’. This deeper level has more space, relax, energy and neutrality, you can see much more clearly from there into the two parts of the dualistic experience and can understand better what’s the nature of things.

Those who want to wakeup to your True Nature must understand that you cannot reach to your True Nature by doing a journey into itself, although the first recognition of our True Nature is felt like a journey mostly. The level of duality you are trying to transcend is like an extension out of yourself. If you wish to reach to yourself then don’t try to reach to yourself because every such effort will be another extension of the present level, which is an extension itself. Through effort the best you can do is create an upside-down ‘U’ which is like your attention stretched like rubber from your present level to your deeper level and obviously you will feel stress. That’s why no one can stay in the self by effort. The only way to stay in True Nature is, that don’t stay in the extension of yourself for few minutes and you are naturally pulled into yourself. The example of a fist is very appropriate here. To make a fist you need to put effort. But do you need any effort to bring your hand into its natural state? No, you just need to stop applying force and you have stopped making the fist. The hand will come into its natural state by itself. But remember to have patience and don’t start putting efforts to bring your hand into its natural state.

How not to hold onto anything at the dualistic level?
Explore deeply how you are holding onto anything. As you look into your hold deeply, a release from it happens naturally by itself. It happens because essentially every bond of two things in life is like absence of light; like a gap between the two, full of darkness. Remember darkness is not presence of darkness but absence of light. As you bring light of your neutral seeing into this gap, an effortless detachment happens.

In the stillness of Being

In the stillness of Being,
Silence pervades before the beginning of time.

All is happening in time,
And time is happening in the silence of Being.

Friend, if you are experiencing struggle in life,
Can it be that you are trying too hard to get it?

Would you try another approach?
Would you let life solve the problem life has brought to you?

In the silence of Being all is perfect, as it is right now.
Even the apparent imperfection is so perfect that no effortful perfection can be a match.

Even ‘you’ who is trying to fix it with all it’s problems experienced, is so perfect fit in the wholeness of the silence of Being.

You get it my friend?

My heart wants to share this with you despite the fact that these words may be misunderstood and you may continue with the struggle of life.

I wish it helps you in some way.

Self-Inquiry is Light unto itself

Basically inquiring into the self is, bringing light of seeing onto the seer or seeing source.

The answer of ‘Who am I’ is not found as an object in the field of perception inside and outside, but this question is resolved in the source of seeing.

The effort of Self-Inquiry highlights our attachment with the objects of perceptions within (generally seen as thoughts and feelings) and breaks it.

Once the attachment with what is being perceived is broken, the light of seeing becomes free to fall onto itself. The Seeing Presence wonders ‘Who am I’, there are no questions here, no answers, just pure sense of wonder revealing the deepest truth of life.

‘Appa Deepo Bhava’ – Be a light unto yourself

‘Who am I’ is a true friend

The question ‘Who am I’ is a true friend, which doesn’t hesitate in showing the seeker of truth what’s false while reflecting all along what’s true.

Though at first this question seems like a practice that’s going to bring spiritual growth and awakening in time and it works that way too for some time, but in essence it’s a question on the existence of the one who is asking this question.

Mostly one continues selecting truest version of the false that is shown in the mirror of this question, which matches the image of the True-Self one carries in the mind. The process of questioning ‘Who am I’ may take different turns like this but fundamentally it must give the questioner this shock that ‘I don’t know who I am’.

Once the questioner knows experientially that I don’t know who I really am, the doors for exploration open up; exploration of what the questioner already is. In this exploration one doesn’t care to define before experiencing what is there within oneself. It’s an experience based exploration, which is mostly felt like feeling-knowing.

This is one of the pointers for Self Inquiry I feel like sharing today with all of you dear friends.

Hope it will help you!

Is there an option to know the Truth?

Dear Seeker of Truth,

Is knowing the Truth one of the options?
If yes then what’s the other option?

Is there any such option of Not knowing the Truth? If there is no such option then why there is struggle in knowing the Truth?

Doesn’t knowing the Truth imply exploration of what is already the case? Then how can there be struggle in exploration of what is already the case.

May be there is a belief that exploration of what is already here, needs special tools, approaches or powers.
Have you tried to explore your present self with the present capacity of exploration that you have?

Anyone who has explored the Truth of who one is within oneself in this moment, with the present capacity of exploration, has hit the Jackpot.

These are just few pointers, which may highlight the blind spots living in the seeing capacity itself.

Are you up for exploration?